My heart yearns for my babies to stay little. Jubal is at an age where everything is so much fun. Watching him learn new things and hearing all of the new words he says, oh it just melts my heart.
Gentry is our baby, so if we could keep him a baby, we would. I would like to see him grow up a little more so he's more independent, could talk to us and tell us what he wants or needs, could walk with us, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies at every age, but I'm sure every mom would agree, it gets easier when they are a little more independent.
I just love them being in my arms. I look at their little hands and feet and I know they will be big boys sooner than I would like, and grown men one day that won't need their mama like they do now. They will grow and I won't be able to rock them to sleep or sing them lullabies anymore.
They'll outgrow sitting on the floor playing with Legos with me, or practicing learning colors, or rolling around on the floor with me tickling them. Watching Disney movies or Dora or Team Umizoomi with them will become a memory.
I love the sounds of their laughter. Even Gentry gets so tickled and laughs out loud when we play with him now. It's things like this I want to bottle up and keep forever. I don't want my boys to grow up.
I love how Jubal comes in the kitchen when I'm cooking and says, "I wanna see, Mama." I pick him up and he watches me cook asking, "What's that, Mama?" or the expression on his face when he exclaims, "Ohh, it's hot, Mama!" when he sees steam coming from a pot.
I know even though it seems like a chore now, that I'll miss straightening the covers on the bed a thousand times a day because Jubal likes to jump on it. I actually can't wait for both of my boys to be able to jump on that bed together. To hear their laughter fill our home like a sweet symphony.
I think about how lucky I am to have two healthy, happy boys. I'm proud that soon enough Jubal will have his brother to run and play with and I hope they form the strongest, most unbreakable bond of any two brothers ever.
As tears roll down my cheeks because I know I can't really stop time, it doesn't make me wish any less that could. I would keep them just like they are right now if the good Lord would allow, but since we all know it's not going to happen, I just hope that I can raise them to be good men.
I will write down as many things as I can so that one day I can look back at this and remember these sweet moments with my boys. If I can't keep them little, at least I can save these moments in time in my words, or in pictures. Somehow, some way, I will keep these precious times tucked away. My boys will always be my babies, no matter how old they get.
I just really, really, really wish they would stay little.